March 31 - April 15, 2017
Rumors - by Neil Simon
Directed by Elizabeth Herbert

America’s premier comic playwright brings us this light, frothy, and side splitting funny comedy. The story centers around four couples invited to a tenth wedding anniversary dinner with the hosts no-where in sight. Their lawyer’s cover-up gets progressively more difficult to sustain as the guests arrive and nobody can remember who has been told what or about whom. Doors slam and hilarity abounds as the couples get more and more crazed – Rumors….we’ve all spread them, we’ve all heard them, but Neil Simon delivers them!

  • All Roles Available
  • Strong Comic roles for: 5 Men and 5 Women


KEN GORMAN – Charley’s well-to- do, handsome lawyer and friend. Married to Chris. Halfway through the show, a gunshot causes his temporary deafness. Serious, know-it- all, well-groomed and high strung.

CHRIS GORMAN –Ken’s elegant and attractive attorney wife. Easily flustered and a bit high strung.  Frantically tries to maintain normalcy at the party. Has recently quit smoking, which drives her to drink a bit more.  (part involves some physical comedy)

LENNY GANZ – Charley’s wealthy accountant who has just wrecked his brand new BMW. Irascible, sarcastic, and very likeable. Starts the show with an extreme case of whiplash. Intolerant of the gossipy-lifestyle that he is often involved in. Married to Claire. (has a 3 page monologue)

CLAIRE GANZ –Lenny’s attractive wife. Very concerned with appearances (hers and others’). Starts the play with a swollen lip. Likes to gossip. A Westchester, yuppyish, New York housewife type.

ERNIE CUSACK – Charley’s psychiatrist. Affable, smokes a pipe. Loves his wife, Cookie, very much. Tries to be helpful. A calming influence in the midst of the chaos. Wants everyone to be happy.

COOKIE CUSACK – Ernie’s loving wife who has her own cooking show. Suffers from extreme back spasms. A bit absent-minded/ditzy at times and very dramatic. ( lots of physical comedy)

GLENN COOPER – A handsome, ambitious man running for State Senate. Worried about his own reputation and image. Struggles with placating his wife, Cassie, who is convinced he is having an affair (which he may or may not be). 

CASSIE COOPER –Glenn’s beautiful, insecure wife. Obsesses over her husbands’ relationships with other women. Quick to anger. Very excitable. Must rub her quartz crystal to calm herself down. She is constantly fighting with Glenn and threatening divorce.

OFFICER BEN WELCH-A city police officer having a rough night. Does not tolerate lying. Sees through the “classy” façade that these high-society types put up.  Imposing, burly.

OFFICER CONNIE PUDNEY -Welch’s partner. A strong but silent type. No nonsense.

Monday, August 8
Tuesday, August 9
6:00 - 9:00 PM
Callbacks: August 10 - 13

Please be prepared to perform two contrasting (for example: classical and modern, or dramatic and comedic) monologues OR a monologue and 16 bars of a song.

Call 360.221.8262 or email to reserve a five-minute audition slot.